I remember thinking I would be this heavy forever. Having children changed my body in a way I wasn’t ready for; not eating properly and not fully understanding the repercussions of my actions. I got pregnant in 95′ with my oldest daughter in my senior year. Before having my daughter, I weighed 115lbs and maintained a very small frame. The issue of weight gain was never an issue because in my mind….I could bounce back. The weight gained with her changed my body and gave me a more womanly shape roughly gaining 30 pounds.
My second daughter arrived in ’99 and did a number on me lol. I can’t even remember how much weight I gained and was miserable the entire time. After her, I couldn’t shake the excess weight I gained and I convinced myself that this is what it was. I was so uncomfortable in my skin and I slowly begin to give up on me. I began to eat and not care about my weight or at least that’s what I thought. Family began to notice my obesity and often made comments about it not knowing that their words had an impact on me in a negative way.
For years, I hid behind a façade…people thought I was so confident and had it all together but I didn’t. I was miserable internally and it was affecting every aspect of my life. It’s hard to pretend to be something you’re not all the while hurting inside and not having the proper outlet to divulge all these feelings and emotions. I always knew what to do to change my situation but there was always something stopping me…ME.
I tried exercise but I never had the stamina or energy to keep it up. I used different supplements and/or weight loss pills that never kept me at a consistent weight. I didn’t like the way I felt taking the pills and finally gave up. I figured I would be this way forever and decided to except the new me. My son was born in ’07 and my weight peaked at an all time high 200lbs. I had never in my life expected this to happen to me. I was unhappy and obese.
After my husband was diagnosed with Diabetes, things really came into prospectus. We had allowed ourselves to spiral out of control and now we had caused so much damage to our bodies. I had high cholesterol, aches and pains, and was constantly not feeling good but never really truly knowing why. So, my husband and I decided that WE had to make a change as a family and needed to change our lifestyle for the shake of our 3 children.
Over the course of 4 year, my husband and I transformed ourselves. We began to take our LIVES seriously and knew that we had to find a way to right our wrongs. We started small working with the Wii and its exercise programs that it offered. Then we gradually incorporated Shaun T Hip Hop Abs, changed our diet – no fried foods, soda, and sweets. We started using olive oil in our cooking and water, water, and more water. It wasn’t easy and many days we wanted to give up. We actually weren’t being consistent at times and being depressed because we weren’t seeing results.
When we did start noticing change it was first in our clothing. We had space in them and couldn’t believe how the weight loss snuck up on us. This fueled us and motivated us to keep going. Gave us the fight to see this thing through. Our lives and bodies changed and for the better. We knew it was real when family and friends would see us and they were baffled. We continued on diligently and before we knew it, we had loss an substantial about of weight between us.
I say all of this to say….never let SELF hinder your progress. Once I got outta my own way, I was able to make a change in my life for the better. The road is long and hard at times but diligence, hard work, and perseverance is needed to see this process through. I’m so thankful for change and the ability to get it right this time around. It is within your grasp…just reach for it. Know that plastic surgery is NOT the answer. If you have a strong supporter that’s great because you can help motivate each other. If not, you are still in the game…don’t count yourself out just yet. The BEST you is yet to come.